So You've Moved In Together — How to Merge Your Stuff

Whether you and your honey have moved into a brand-new space together or just one of you has made the move, unpacking the boxes can be cause for alarm. All these are items taken from house to home, items which were concealed under the bed, and boxes and boxes of incredibly important things.

Even when you’re ready to share space with the one that you enjoy, merging styles can result in some bumps on the highway. When that broken-down recliner appears — you know, the one with the duct-taped arms and sunken seat — you might feel as if you’re losing your sanity. But don’t worry, there is a way to deal with it which can keep both of you happy.

Ryland Peters & Small | CICO Books

One of the most difficult scenarios couples confront is not related to the way to decorate (though that is near the top). It’s the way to keep their space clutter free when one spouse does not believe their stuff a part of the issue. I see a lot in my day-to-day interactions with customers, and I have seen people go full-blown hysterical over getting rid of things they hardly remember purchasing in the first location.

Hands down, combining styles is less complex than combining sensibilities. There are instances we need to let go, and there are a number of things that just really require to go. Here are four tips for coping with new environment and mixing stuff.


Scale back. It’s important to commit to clearing your personal clutter until you set foot in your new space. If you don’t love it, want it or use it regularly, it shouldn’t make the move. If you are prone to sentimental rescue, then enlist the help of a friend or family member with no emotional ties for your belongings. Someone objective can help you determine what goes in the boxes and what’s sold, donated or thrown out.

Making a house together is a chance to start new. Most of us have things we save that show where we come from and memories we’ve created, but we must understand that some of our personal belongings are not particular or imbued with magical life-altering properties. Bring only what’s important into the new house you are sharing. If you both own the same item (say, a flat-screen TV), stay with the newest one or the one under warranty and sell or donate the other.

InDesign / Lori Ludwick

Create a game program. The word “plan” is not exactly romantic, but neither is arguing over closets stuffed with crud. If you are moving into an empty flat, sketch out a floor plan on paper to decide where matters will go and what you will still need to be comfy (a new bed perhaps?) . Discuss ahead of time which items each of you will bring in the space to avoid any unpleasant surprises on moving day. It might appear tedious, and your partner might even claim to not care, but asking her or his view on whether matters should come into the house can help save you a headache afterwards.

Agree to disagree or compromise. If you tend to fight to locate decor that is suitable for you both, trade dinner for layout hours with a fashionable friend or hire an expert to get a consultation. Walk throughout the space together so he or she can visualize the potential and offer guidance.

If you are moving to your partner’s house, you might be contending not only with the ghost of a previous connection, but with a physical environment which has probably served just fine for the partner in its current state. Talk to your spouse about particular things you would like to change: paint colour, linens, and the stream of the furniture — something which can help you feel at home.

Niche Interiors

Know when to update. Whether you lease or own your space, what you start with might not be what you would like to live with forevermore. There’ll come a time once the hand-me-downs, puzzle furniture and the broken down, will need to be replaced. What one spouse feels is fully operational, the other may discover repulsive. Be ready to communicate and compromise on what needs to go long before you threatens to set the sofa on fire. It can be overwhelming to buy everything new all at the same time, and frequently it’s not economically possible. Deciding ahead of time which things you will work toward upgrading or replacing will go a long way toward creating a house together.

Watch Part 1: So You’re Moving In Together: 3 Things to Do First

Growing up: Component 3 can help you figure out what to do when you or your partner’s tastes change.

See related